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It's the First World War. Our nation's heroes are fighting the good fight on foreign soil, but in one sleepy English village three young men remain: George is a conscientious objector, Cecil has flat feet and Bert really is a coward, unfortunately. They don't fight on the front line, but they do fight each other.
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E1Bonfire Night
George joins fiancée Winky in writing letters to lonely soldiers whilst Cecil joins the Needlework Guild to send them warm clothes and Bert fails to impress Agnes by trying to get in on the act since all the women are on sex strike in solidarity with the fighters at the front. Cecil however is dismayed to find that his is the effigy on the Guy Fawkes night bonfire.
E2Masculinity
News arrives that the first Rittle man has died in battle, prompting Bert to make a move on his widow. George, meanwhile, faces a moral dilemma at work.
E3Brown Water
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The boys are immediately suspicious when, out of the blue, a pretty girl named Penny asks Cecil to be her boyfriend. Maybe, just maybe, she thinks Cecil is a catch. Or, she's got an ulterior motive.
