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Writer Dan Harmon has his assistant Spencer Crittenden construct a time machine to transport historical figures from the past so he can interview them. The interviewees only survive for a few hours before undergoing a "total protoplasmic disconversion" and collapsing into dust, which Spencer collects in a jar.
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Ludwig van Beethoven
Given a hearing aid, Beethoven hears some of his most famous compositions for the first time.
Ernest Hemingway
Dan attempts to bond with Hemingway over their common interests in drinking and writing, but is intimidated by his masculinity.
Thomas Edison
Unsatisfied with the quality of his phonograph recording, Edison insists on recording a new version in a modern studio.
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Mary Wollstonecraft
Mary's arrival gives Dan a chance to express his feminism, but he is irritated by Mary's stern demeanor. Meanwhile, it is Spencer's birthday.